10 Survival Tips & Tactics for Eating Veg in a Non-Veg World
Some people are afraid that their social lives will suffer when they eliminate meat and dairy from their diet, since social occasions and food tend to go hand-in-hand. For anyone who has ever thought it is difficult as a vegetarian to dine out, to eat at the home of a non-vegetarian friend, or to find food to eat at parties, I hope this can be a guide and a resource.
1. Be Specific. Not everybody knows what it means to eat "vegetarian" or "vegan," and it’s important for vegetarians/vegans to be specific about what their needs are. I know plenty of people who think chickens are plants with wings or who think "chicken broth" is vegetarian. They think as long as there are no chickens floating around in it, it’s acceptable for those who don’t eat birds. So be clear and ask for exactly what you want.
Scenario Suggestion: When eating out, or when invited over a friend’s for dinner, it’s helpful to state specific foods. So you can say to your server "This dish/menu sounds wonderful. Just to be clear, I’m vegan, so please tell me if I order something with eggs, meat broth, cheese, milk, or cream." I’ve never had a server unwilling to accommodate me, and this takes care of any potential misunderstandings.
2. Be Positive. Most likely, you made the choice to leave animals off your plate because it makes you feel good — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If that’s your truth, then that’s exactly what you should express to those around you. Your attitude will influence the perception and attitude of others about what it means to be vegan.
Scenario Suggestion: When ordering in a restaurant, of course it’s polite and appropriate to thank the server for accommodating you, but try not to apologize to the point of being self-effacing. If you had a food allergy, you would just explain to the server and move on. Your food preferences are just as valid when based on ethical reasons. And remember, you’re paying them – they should accommodate you if they want to keep your business. So thank them, but then just move on.
3. Be Confident. Food is a personal as well as political subject that has been known to bring up people’s defenses, and vegetarians have found themselves on the receiving end of ridicule, criticism, interrogations, jokes, and plain old rudeness. Remaining confident that the attack has nothing to do with you personally will help you take the encounter in stride. Also, don’t feel you need to carry the weight of defending all the benefits of vegetarianism. If asked why you make the choices you do, speak from your heart and tell your truth. That is much more powerful than trying to espouse all the latest nutrition research that supports vegetarian eating (and of course there’s lots of it!).
Scenario Suggestion: You are at a party, and someone – rather hostilely – says to you, "I just finished a book by a prominent anthropologist, and he provides a lot of evidence that humans were never pure vegetarian at any point in our evolution." Many might be tempted to respond with the fact that early humans actually gathered more than they hunted, that we’re physically designed to eat vegetarian diets, etc., and if your goal is to win an argument, then argue away. But, consider an alternative response that diffuses the attack, speaks to the real issue, and enables you to remain true to yourself. You could say something like "I don’t know much about anthropology, but I do know that I feel really good about eating this way. It’s better for my health and certainly better for the animals. And besides, isn’t being human about doing things better than the way we did them before, especially as we learn more?"
4. Be Generous. Co-workers, neighbors, clients, friends, and family all appreciate the gift of homemade goodies, and every vegetarian knows the power of delicious food. Anytime non-vegetarians try your infamous meatless chili or your decadent dairy-free cookies, they are exposed to dishes they may have never chosen on their own, and often they’ll walk away with a new perception about "vegan food."
Scenario Suggestion: Bring muffins in for your morning office meeting, leave cookies on your neighbor’s porch, make a cake for a special occasion and share it with co-workers. You can visit www.compassionatecooks.com to get lots of delicious recipes.
5. Be Assertive. I’d be lying if I said that healthful plant-based options are available in every restaurant, but they are available in almost every restaurant whose focus is not "American cuisine." Every other cuisine, from Italian and Thai to Indian and Mexican, offers plenty of healthful vegan dishes. But for those times when you don’t have a say in choosing the restaurant, at an employee lunch or office party, it’s worth calling the restaurant in advance to find out which menu items can be made meat- and dairy-free or what they can make special to accommodate you.
Scenario Suggestion: Most people don’t like having their food choices be the center of attention, especially when people may already perceive veganism as "different" or "difficult," but anytime I’ve asked for something "off the menu," everyone else at the table has coveted my meal. They had no idea you could suggest something different than what’s on the menu, and they will wish they followed your lead!
6. Be Attentive. The stereotype that vegans talk all the time about being vegan is, well, true, but only because once a meat-eater learns you’re vegetarian, you become their Confessor, counselor, and sounding board. They often proceed to tell you how often they eat meat or how they’ve become vegetarian except for the chickens and fish they still consume. Though you’ve heard it before, be respectful, be attentive, and be sensitive. They clearly want to identify as a "vegetarian" and are trusting you with a bit of information about themselves. What they are saying may be more important than what you have to say in response. Ask them questions instead of simply responding.
Scenario Suggestion: A non-vegetarian tells you she tried to be vegetarian but it was too hard. Ask her what was hard about it. She tells you she doesn’t want to know about how the animals are treated. Ask her what she thinks might happen if she knew. The point is to create a dialogue and to realize that it is not "me against you," the "vegetarian against the meat-eater," but rather us against cruelty, us against violence. For those of us who are vegan, it’s also important to remember our own stories so we don’t become self-righteous. At one time or another, most of us ate animals and their secretions and some of us relied on silly excuses to continue eating them.
7. Be Prepared. There may be times when a work or family event centers around meat (like a barbecue) or takes place in a restaurant that is unfavorable to vegans (such as a steakhouse). At such times, it might be worth eating something before you go and/or bringing your own food to eat when you get there. It may be inconvenient, but it’s better than not eating at all, and once again, the food you bring will most likely inspire others to try something new. To be perfectly frank, BBQs – when they’re not vegetarian – are the one event I refuse to attend. It’s just much too painful and offensive to witness the ravenous gluttony of this meat-fest, but I don’t want to make it seem like being vegan isolates you. I don’t not attend because there wouldn’t be something for me to eat – I don’t go because I don’t want to; it’s just too upsetting.
8. Be Equipped. There are numerous occasions that offer the opportunity to bring a dish. Bringing your favorite vegan lasagna or chocolate cake is a surefire way to ensure that you’ll enjoy the fare, and it’s a wonderful way to introduce people to delicious and nutritious veg food.
Scenario Suggestion: If you are attending a dinner party where guests were not asked to bring a dish, you might want to call to find out if it’s okay that you bring something. Or, better yet, ask the hostess if you can alleviate some of the cooking burden for her and bring one of the dishes. It would also provide you with an opportunity to clarify what you eat (see #1).
9. Be Humorous. Non-vegetarians as well as vegetarians can get a little uptight around such a sensitive subject. Humor has a way of diffusing tension. Always keep in mind that whatever jokes non-vegetarians might make at your expense, it really has nothing to do with you. Passive aggressive though these people are, it will help to respond with humor and levity.
Scenario Suggestion: I try to keep things light while at the same time telling the truth. So, for instance, when I’m around non-vegetarians and one might say something about the chicken sandwich they had for lunch and then they turn to me to apologize, I usually say something like "look – don’t apologize to me. Apologize to the chickens." It’s a good way to get people thinking without being judgmental; besides, this has nothing to do with me. It has everything to do with the animals. Responding with levity to hostility is always a good way to go.
10. Be Vocal. One thing some non-vegetarians don’t understand – I don’t think I really understood it before I was vegan – is that to sit in a restaurant watching everyone chewing on animals is an incredibly painful experience. Eating at a vegetarian or, better yet, vegan restaurant is so wonderful – not just because you can choose anything on the menu – but because it’s a nonviolent atmosphere. There’s kind of a feeling of serenity when you look around you and know that no animals were (intentionally) killed in the making of the meals and everyone’s just munching on wonderful plant-based food.
Scenario Suggestion: So, when you can speak up and ask your friends or family or co-workers to try a vegetarian restaurant, I encourage you to do so. If you’re a non-vegetarian, extend an invitation to your vegetarian friend to go to a veg restaurant. That way, everyone can eat and experience the abundance!
The Holidays: I want to say a quick note about the holidays. Many of these suggestions will help, I think, but here’s another sure-fire way to ensure all the food is vegan: host a holiday dinner yourself. You can make it potluck style, guiding non-vegans about what to bring, giving them recipes, etc. It will inspire them to make something vegan, although they’ll probably realize they cook vegan all the time but never called it vegan. There are times I’ve gone back East for the holidays and cooked the entire holiday meal (with some help from my hubby, of course) for our families. They were happy to have someone do all the cooking, and the meal was something everyone was able to enjoy. Yes, it means more work, but whatever. A few hours in the kitchen is nothing compared to what the animals endure.
Tags: animals, chicken, Community, eating out, Food, Food Production, Health and Health Products, Home and Garden, Local Food, Outdoors, Recreation, restaurant, social tips, sustainable, vegan, vegetarian
September 13th, 2007 at 6:20 am
I never said that ValkRaider thought no one can go vegan, but just in case he missed the other part of my reply, I’ll repeat it here:
Many animals rape the females of their species. Should we do likewise? And should we get over it if some of us do?
Veganism is a moral issue, not just a dietary choice. ValkRaider might disagree (though I doubt it, given that he says he opts for “humanely raised” meat). So he cannot expect vegans to stay silent about what they consider to be grave injustice. I think that we live in a democracy, and freedom of speech is a given in any true democracy. It would also do well for ValkRaider to keep in mind that no one forced him to come to this blog.
Regarding the “torture to eat an animal”, I think ValkRaider, probably due to his defensive frame of mind, misunderstood the whole point. What the article actually said is that it is a painful experience for the author to watch people eating meat, and not to the meat eater. Also, it’s not our fault that when some of us say they are vegetarian or vegan, people get all defensive, and that some actually apologize for eating meat in our presence. This is not saying what should or should not be done. This is just stating a fact that some of us experience.
It is also a good thing that ValkRaider mentions the “naturalness” of eating meat. There is nothing at all natural in raising animals for food. It could be argued that hunting is natural (though what’s natural is not necessarily right - see my rape question above). “Farming” animals definitely is not natural at all. If people base what’s natural (as ValkRaider does) on what many other animals do, perhaps it should be pointed out that no other animals (except humans) “farm” animals for their meat.
As for pissing people off, it is a fact that pointing out something that makes your conscience feel guilty can have two effects: It either pisses you off, or leads you to make changes. If the effect of our truths is to piss you off, there is little we can do about that. However, we should still point out what we believe to be grave rights-violations (to non-human animals) for the benefit of those who could possibly change their life, and in turn benefit the non-human animals, apart from themselves.
September 13th, 2007 at 6:33 am
“Show me one place in the natural order of things where one species of animal enslaved members of their own species”.
Ants and termites.
“I have shown you how in the natural order of things animals eat other animals. As part of the natural system. It is a system after all, and all parts of the system must work together. Humans are the only species who actually BREAK the system. (In more ways than food)”.
In the “natural order of things” you mention, animals are hunted, and not “farmed”. Farmed animals fall outside of the “natural order of things”. However, in the “natural order of things”, animals (including humans) don’t have guns. So perhaps, in the “natural order of things”, humans are more prey than predators. That said, I can’t see an advocate of the “natural order of things” hunting a lion with his bare hands.
“But slaves were HUMAN and farm animals are not. So it is a pretty big stretch you try to make there…”
A racist would tell you: But slaves were BLACK, and whites are not. So it is a pretty big stretch you try to make there…
All that matters is sentience.
September 13th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Sorry, I just hate it when people get preachy, especially when it’s me.
September 13th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Boyd, if we were merely talking about religion, I’d certainly take a “you have your opinion, I have mine…” approach. But we’re not just talking about a religion-based morality here. Veganism encompasses many different areas of our lives. For some vegans, their religious beliefs are a primary inspiration. I first got into this out of a concern for the environment. Later as my understanding of ethics, science, etc expanded I found a broader foundation for my veganism.
When I say that science is important to my veganism, I’m talking about our increasing understanding of the intelligence and even culture that non-human animals hold. I certainly grew up being told that the animals we eat are less than people and this justified our use of them. Later when I read study after study that showed the complex communication techniques animals employed, the problem-solving skills they posses, and the complex and even emotional relationships they form with each other, it became very difficult for me to justify killing them just to please my taste buds. Especially considering there are so many very tasty and nutritionally complete vegan foods available.
To be dynamic in our religious and ethical beliefs also means that we can adjust those beliefs as we gain new information and that we can always strive to do better.
People do sometimes say I’m preachy (esp. on-line as tone and facial expression are lost), but the truth is that I would not bother with being vegan if I didn’t absolutely believe it’s the best possible way to live right now. Maybe that’s preachy, but I’m also not saying that without considerable research on the topic and 18 years of vegetarianism and 13 of veganism under my belt. I might be a lot of things, but I’m not uninformed. Also, I’m not really ignorant of what our opposition believes or how they live. Anything you want to name about animal exploitation (eating animals, hunting, animals in entertainment, etc.), all of those things have been part of my life and many of my family members still participate in those activities. So it was certainly a huge part of my upbringing and culture, and yet I made a decision not to participate in those things because I felt there were excellent reasons to change.
For Wayne Luke, I have to say that comparative religion is a hobby of mine and while I know that eating meat is an important tradition in some religious communities (ie church barbeques, etc) I know of no religion on a larger scale that requires eating meat of all adherents. I have attended many services of many different religions and sub sects within those religions and while I was often the only vegan in the room, nobody ever told me that my being vegan violated any religious principals the group held. Instead, most merely said that their religion didn’t require vegetarianism. Even religions that have a poor reputation in the media in terms of being bad to animals actually don’t require hurting animals when you get back to basic religious rules and ideas. I have friends who grew up in families practicing Regala de Ocha (commonly referred to as Santeria) who never participated in any harm to animals and were deeply hurt by sensationalized media reports that emphasized the small minority within their religion who used animal sacrifice. These were families that had practiced Regala de Ocha for generations and certainly did not feel that they were not as observant or in any way deficient in their practice. Also even the Church of Satanism founder Aton LaVey condemned cruelty to animals or the use of animal sacrifice. I know you specifically mentioned pagan religions and again I know of no group that requires all adherents to kill animals, though there could be small sects within the group that emphasize this. In fact many “pagan” faiths cherish and revere the earth and her inhabitants, and thus I would think that enormous environmental damage being caused by animal agriculture would be a powerful motivation to change habits and diet.
September 13th, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Boyd, if we were merely talking about religion, I’d certainly take a “you have your opinion, I have mine…” approach. But we’re not just talking about a religion-based morality here. Veganism encompasses many different areas of our lives. For some vegans, their religious beliefs are a primary inspiration. I first got into this out of a concern for the environment. Later as my understanding of ethics, science, etc expanded I found a broader foundation for my veganism.
When I say that science is important to my veganism, I’m talking about our increasing understanding of the intelligence and even culture that non-human animals hold. I certainly grew up being told that the animals we eat are less than people and this justified our use of them. Later when I read study after study that showed the complex communication techniques animals employed, the problem-solving skills they posses, and the complex and even emotional relationships they form with each other, it became very difficult for me to justify killing them just to please my taste buds. Especially considering there are so many very tasty and nutritionally complete vegan foods available.
To be dynamic in our religious and ethical beliefs also means that we can adjust those beliefs as we gain new information and that we can always strive to do better.
People do sometimes say I’m preachy (esp. on-line as tone and facial expression are lost), but the truth is that I would not bother with being vegan if I didn’t absolutely believe it’s the best possible way to live right now. Maybe that’s preachy, but I’m also not saying that without considerable research on the topic and 18 years of vegetarianism and 13 of veganism under my belt. I might be a lot of things, but I’m not uninformed. Also, I’m not really ignorant of what our opposition believes or how they live. Anything you want to name about animal exploitation (eating animals, hunting, animals in entertainment, etc.), all of those things have been part of my life and many of my family members still participate in those activities. So it was certainly a huge part of my upbringing and culture, and yet I made a decision not to participate in those things because I felt there were excellent reasons to change.
For Wayne Luke, I have to say that comparative religion is a hobby of mine and while I know that eating meat is an important tradition in some religious communities (ie church barbeques, etc) I know of no religion on a larger scale that requires eating meat of all adherents. I have attended many services of many different religions and sub sects within those religions and while I was often the only vegan in the room, nobody ever told me that my being vegan violated any religious principals the group held. Instead, most merely said that their religion didn’t require vegetarianism. Even religions that have a poor reputation in the media in terms of being bad to animals actually don’t require hurting animals when you get back to basic religious rules and ideas. I have friends who grew up in families practicing Regala de Ocha (commonly referred to as Santeria) who never participated in any harm to animals and were deeply hurt by sensationalized media reports that emphasized the small minority within their religion who used animal sacrifice. These were families that had practiced Regala de Ocha for generations and certainly did not feel that they were not as observant or in any way deficient in their practice. Also even the Church of Satanism founder Aton LaVey condemned cruelty to animals or the use of animal sacrifice. I know you specifically mentioned pagan religions and again I know of no group that requires all adherents to kill animals, though there could be small sects within the group that emphasize this. In fact many “pagan” faiths cherish and revere the earth and her inhabitants, and thus I would think that enormous environmental damage being caused by animal agriculture would be a powerful motivation to change habits and diet.
September 13th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
I realize that it behooves a meat eater to deflect all rational, empirical, and empathic criticism of meat eating and other animal use by focusing the discussion on non-rational, non-empirical, but mysteriously sacred religious beliefs and accusing animal supporters of being “preachy” (as if we were invoking some angry Big-Daddy-In-The-Sky to tell us not to eat meat), but for those who are able to calmly and disinterestedly reason with empathy for others, this religious smoke screen is transparent and we can see the sane rationality behind not slaughtering animals to please our gustatory habits.
There is no characteristic that all and only humans have which separates us from all other species, except one, species membership, and that particular one is as *irrelevant* to an interest in life and freedom from intentional harm as race or sex is to an interest in voting or an education for humans. “Rationality”, which has been brought up in history as a difference, is irrelevant also, but even if it did have relevance, there are many nonhumans who are much more rational than many humans. Human apes are on an overlapping continuum with other species such that we cannot morally justify killing them for unnecessary purposes, yet we kill 10 billion land animals in the US alone for unnecessary purposes.
Finally, about not knowing any vegans and there being no veg-friendly restaurants: that’s no excuse. I live in ranch and rodeo cowboy country in the middle of Colorado, and have for many years. There are no vegetarian restaurants within 100 miles of where I live, none; and most are not veg-friendly. I never knew a vegan or even a lacto-ovo “vegetarian” until I became a vegan myself. I went vegan solely because I gave an honest hearing to what animal rights advocates had to say, and I found them to be right and my upbringing and cultural prejudices to be wrong. Now, more than four years later, I have no problem at all being vegan in one of the most vegan-unfriendly areas of the country. There are no excuses.
September 13th, 2007 at 4:02 pm
I won’t go into animal sacrifice because we don’t do that. However we do have blots with pork offered to our gods. These animals are not factory farmed animals. In fact the friend that raises them, raises two pigs a year on 2 and a half acres of land. The animals are not force fed antiobiotics or growth hormones. They don’t leave their mothers until they are 3 or 4 months old. Instead they have room to grow, play and are provided cooled sleeping areas and mud pits to get out of the hot summer sun. They play soccer and live happy lives. However a 300 pound pig is not a pet. They are not wild animals and would not survive in the wild. Neither would domesticated animals such as cows or chickens.
Like I said, I respect people’s choices. When vegetarian friends come over, we have vegetarian meals prepared for them. It isn’t the choice for everyone. I choose to eat meat as much as you choose not to. I only eat locally grown meat in humane conditions. My chickens do not come from factory farms but from friends who raise them. My eggs do not come from chickens who have lived their life in an 18 inch square cage. I don’t eat beef because it isn’t available locally. We have one pig raised for use yearly. I can live with my choice and its impact on the environment. I think, if the studies were done, that locally grown meat on small farms doesn’t have 1/10th the impact that large scale factory farming does per animal.
Even with my meat eating, I can honestly say that my environmental impact is less than half of every vegetarian that I personally know. On this site, when all is said and done, it is about environmental impact nothing else.
September 13th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
A sacrifice can be forced.
http://www.answers.com/sacrifice&r=67
September 16th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Unregistered user said:
“I’ve never seem such a self-righteous bunch of bull.”
Is it “self-righteous” to confront people about morally objectionable behavior? Of course not! Society does it every day when we enforce laws that prohibit murder, stealing, fraud, polluting the environment, etc. And we do it in our personal relationships as well, when we ostracize liars and cheaters from our circle of friends, for example.
Most people accept that some things are morally wrong, and it is perfectly proper for society and individuals to judge others and impose legal or social penalties for moral lapses.
Moral issues are usually issues that affect or harm others. If you think morality is just a matter of personal choice, then you’d have to say that putting thieves in jail or ostracizing liars from your circle of friends is acting in a self-righteous way. Of course that is
nonsense.
Meat-eating IS a moral issue in the same way that cheating, stealing, lying, and polluting the environment are all moral issues. It is not simply a personal food preference, where you prefer salt and I prefer no-salt.
But most people don’t like to be confronted with their moral lapses and they will often call those who confront them _self-righteous_. But if someone were beating their wife, stealing from their employer, or throwing litter out the car window –you’d speak up about it, I hope. And then your friends — the thieves, litterers, or wife-beaters– might call you self-righteous. So what!
Vegans should quit feeling guilty about speaking up. In fact, they have a moral obligation to do so. Moral issues are not left “to each his own” like a choice between chocolate and vanilla ice-cream.
September 16th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Is meat-eating natural? Who cares? Evolutionally it is natural to want more salt, sugar and fat than is good for us, because we needed to store these foods in case of famine. Fortunately, we have few famines these days and therefore eating salt, sugar, and fat is no longer “good” for us.
And if you’re talking about how our ancestors lived, crowding animals into factory farms is definitely not natural. Neither is breeding turkeys so large that they can no longer stand up.
What we _should_ be concerned about is what’s actually good for us individually, for our fellow human beings, and for the other creatures with whom we share this world. Once we’ve got an answer to that question, who cares about natural or unnatural? In short, we should EVOLVE!
Here’s a link to a short funny video by Bizarro cartoonist Dan Piraro.
http://www.bizarro.com/videos/mov/VeganVideoWeb.mov